I have really been praying through returning to Sierra Leone... should I fundraise for my own costs to go back? Should I focus on fundraising for the kids and not myself? Should I do both or nothing? I've just been a whole jumble of emotions and recently God has opened so many doors of possibility that I just don't know what to think or do any more...
It all started with a dream... I was sitting on the ground, legs folded like a pretzel, rocking and singing to a precious little boy. I knew I was in Sierra Leone because I could feel my backpack on, I had my hair up and as far away from neck as possible, a headband on to catch my sweat, and I could just sense that I was there... As I was really beginning to look at the baby's face an Auntie came and took the baby from my arms... before I could even begin to protest I woke up. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!? At first I thought maybe this was God telling me, "Hanna you want to go back, but now is not the time..." or something like that... but the more I think about it I feel like I woke up before I saw the end of the dream... so
A while after this I had a beyond meaningful conversation about praying through going back to Sierra Leone and whether the timing was mine or God's or what exactly and another door of possibility was opened to me... perhaps I will have a chance to share this later... we'll have to see...
Finally tonight happened. I have started going on run/walk/jog things because my water aerobics plans are not working out here in Pella and today I was tired. I hurt. I was grumpy. I wanted to just go to bed. BUT... God had other plans (doesn't He always?)
On Wednesday nights here on campus our Intervarsity chapter puts on an event called Nine. Its sort of like a praise and worship night with a little bit of sermon. As I said before... I was not in the mood to go. I had my pajamas on, was in my bed all tucked in, ready to fall asleep when my cousin (who yes now goes to school with me... yay!) texts me and says "You need to come. Be there!! You need to come and love some Jesus!" She was just too convincing... So I got out of bed, got out of my pajamas, and walked across campus to Nine. I expected it to be buggy because it's outside, I expected to see a lot of people... but what I didn't expect was for God to really weigh down my heart. What was the theme of tonight you ask?... it was "What are you passionate about?" What type of song did we sing to end the night?... Africa worship song..... Who felt like a potato today?... me.
At this point you are probably thinking that I have actually lost it... this 19 credit hour semester has officially put me over the edge... but really it hasn't
Sometimes, you just feel like a potato... while the way that potato may be cooked can differ... you can still feel like a potato. This evening I was ready to be a couch potato... do nothing and just go to bed... well the chef of this master
Scripture says, "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future..." {Jeremiah 29:11} This spud is taking comfort in God's word... whatever it is that this dream meant, for whatever reason He is opening so many doors for, and because I know He loves me so much that He weighs my heart with a passion for Him and His kingdom... I take comfort in knowing it is His plan... and not mine. He is the master chef of this potato and there couldn't be any better way.
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